From the author:

I didn't start out to write a book, I started out putting together  a booklet consisting of the stories written by family members  on what their experiences  had been as they  went through the process of having a loved one go into care and afterwards.

I had noticed that, when  a resident came into a nursing home, you, their relatives, had to go about the process of learning to be "the family member."  Just like the resident, you were usually  dropping into a new situation which was confusing and emotionally taxing, and had to land on your feet running. The problem is that it takes time  to learn the role. You  learned  slowly, day by day, and often by making mistakes, or worse, by having something go wrong. Only later would you  learn how you should have handled  the problem. 

I was just going to write a short introduction  to the booklet when I began to think, maybe I should just explain  this part about being the family member. Then I thought, well, maybe it would be helpful if I explained this too . The book grew from there.

So, this book will teach you how to be the family member of someone in care. This is what I hope:

I hope it increases your learning curve so that  you feel more adequate faster  and able to negotiate the system in which you find yourself.

I hope it helps you to get the best care possible for the person you love.

I hope it will help you  avoid feeling helpless and avoid having something happen which could be prevented.

I hope it helps you to have a better experience of what you are going through. 

I hope it helps you to  help your relative through this experience, from the first time you think about it  until you leave the nursing home for the last time.

I hope it helps you understand how and why nursing home systems work the way they do.

I hope it helps you to  cope with what you are going through emotionally and understand how that affects you and your relative.

I hope it helps you to see what things look like from the point of view of the people who work in nursing homes.

I hope it gives you courage, strength, and solace, and helps your compassion to grow. 

I hope all this isn't too much to hope for.

Best wishes to you.

You can reach me at my company office, in Vancouver, BC. Canada at 604-874-7764. or email me at eldercare@diamondgeriatrics.com

Peter Silin